Harj's story
Harj Gahley had a gambling addiction for over 10 years, starting from the age of 23. Five years into his recovery, Harj leads the Breaking the Sharam programme, reducing the stigma of gambling harm within South Asian and diverse communities.
My wife told me that if I wanted to make it work with her, I needed to get professional help... I went on to receive CBT therapy for my gambling and registered with Gamstop to help break the habit.
Losing control
I started gambling when I was 23 years old, first on blackjack and roulette tables in casinos, but then started gambling at my local bookmakers as it was closer. I quickly went from betting £10 to £20 and then £30. The rise of online casinos made it even easier for me to gamble. I got to the point where I was gambling at least £100 every few minutes, eventually putting in £1,000 deposits.
I remember seeing guys at the casino or bookmakers who had been there for hours if not days and thinking: ‘How terrible, those guys can’t control themselves’. In reality, I was the same, and I couldn’t control it either.
Struggling in silence
I lost all sense of the value of money. I could win and feel nothing at all: I was gambling to shut up my mind. Begging, borrowing, stealing, and defrauding were the ways that I would access money that I didn’t have.
I tried on many occasions to quit, but I found it very difficult. I asked myself “Who do I ask for help?”. I remember thinking of opening up to family and friends, but shame and guilt kicked in. I also felt that as a Sikh (Indian), the Asian culture got in the way of my recovery as gambling is considered very taboo, if not a sin. Even with these feelings, I reached out to religious leaders from the local Sikh temple but did not get the help I hoped for and felt like they were judging me.
Journey to recovery
My wife had become suspicious of me and eventually managed to log into my banking app where she found a long list of gambling transactions. The moment she saw these, I knew I had broken every ounce of trust. My wife told me that if I wanted to make it work with her, I needed to get professional help.
I contacted GamCare and remember crying for most of the call – for the first time in a very long time, I felt supported, not judged. I went on to receive CBT therapy for my gambling and registered with Gamstop to help break the habit.
My road to recovery has been the toughest and most challenging journey for me personally. I am now five years in recovery and work to increase awareness and prevention of problem gambling through education.
I hope that by sharing my story, I can help others, especially from the Indian community, to have the strength to access support and put their addiction behind them.
Take control of your gambling
"I just needed to take control."
Steelworker Jack registered with Gamstop to take control of a gambling addiction that was burning through his wages.
"Registering with Gamstop was key to my recovery."
Having struggled with a gambling addiction for over 10 years, Declan registered with Gamstop to take back control.
"Total lifesaver."
Matt began gambling when he was just 11 years old and describes signing up for Gamstop as a "total lifesaver".
More ways to control your gambling
Gamstop Online is just the start. Many people who use Gamstop Online also use the Multi Operator Self Exclusion Scheme (MOSES) to block themselves from betting shops, install gambling blocking software on their devices, or receive advice and support from specialist organisations that support those struggling with gambling.